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Magha,
[D.S.Senanayake`s vision needs to be materialized at full throttle ] Would like to share the following with you [Best Of Mervin Silva Saturday, 25 November 2006 - 9:50 AM SL Time Once Mervyn Silva was coming out of the airport. As there was a huge rush the security guard told him `wait please` for which Mervyn replied `82 Kgs` and moved on... * * * Mervyn Silva wanted to know the time difference between his native village and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist Board and asked them `Lamayoo.. could you tell me the time difference between here and Las Vegas....` The lady at the other end replied `One second sir...` and Mervyn Silva immediately replied `thank you` and put the phone down. * * * At a bar in New York, the man to Mervyn Silva`s left tells the bartender, `Johnie Walker single.` And the man`s companion says, `Jack Daniels single.` The bartender approaches Mervyn and asks, `and you Sir?` Mervyn replies: `Mervyn Silva, married.` * * * Mervyn Silva decides to do paddy farming. Once he was among the herd of buffaloes and while resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for a photo. Next day the photo appears in the front page of a newspaper. Guess the caption: `Mervyn Silva, third from left!` * * * Mervyn Silva was hosting a Japanese delegation for business development projects in the country. The Japanese emissary was quite impressed with the country. He stated: `Sri Lanka is an excellent country. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.` Mervyn Silva was very surprised. `You Japanese are very inepicent,` he stated. `Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Sri Lanka!` * * * God decided to encourage people to have less children and introduced an award scheme. During the procedure at one point he concentrated on learning about the situation in Sri Lanka: He first met J.R.Jayewardene in heaven, and asked him how many children he had during his time on earth. J.R. replied only one! Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God awarded J.R. with a Mercedes Benz! R. Premadasa was next, and God asked the same question. He replied he had two children, and the God thought this is not the best, so he gave Premadasa a cheaper car, a Toyota. S.W.R.D. Bandaranaike was next in line. God was not pleased to hear that he had three children, and gave him a Morris Eight as a kind of punishment. Sometime later, the three (J.R, Preme and Banda) going around in their new cars, saw D. S. Senanayake on foot! Wondering what went wrong, they asked why God hadn`t been merciful with him. D.S. replied with anger, `God did not even ask me! Some idiot had told him that I was the father of the nation!` * * * Three dead bodies Three dead bodies turned up at the morgue, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner called the police inspector, to show him what has happened. `First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, inspector,` says the coroner. `Second body : Irishman , 25, won 10,000 pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.` `Ah`, says the coroner, `this is the most unusual one. Sri Lankan politician, 40, struck by lightning` `Why is he smiling then?` asks the inspector. `He thought he was having his picture taken` ] |
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