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Help to Heal

Monday, 13 July 2009 - 1:48 PM SL Time

11 July 2009

Report on Mental Health Project for the Internally Displaced Persons in
Northern Sri Lanka

Introduction
Due to the efforts of the Tamil Diaspora, a proposal was presented to the Sri Lankan Ministry of Health for the participation of Australians in the provision of Counseling Services to the Internally Displaced Persons in Northern Sri Lanka, who were reported to total around 274,000 at the time (31 May) the proposal was submitted.

The Proposal presented by the Australian team was assessed and approved by the Secretariat of the Sri Lankan Health Ministry, with active participation by its Mental Health Division, World Health Organisation (WHO) participants who are already providing similar services & the Sri Lankan College of Psychiatrists.

Security clearance was issued by the Delegated Authority within Ministry of Health. The above process took about a month.

The Approach
Given that this is an emergency situation, I felt it was best to take a `beyond orthodox` approach and rely more on my feelings through direct experience than my/our thinking as per rights and wrongs. Given that I believed that I was `right` for Sri Lanka, I had faith that my natural feelings would benefit Sri Lanka whatever the form of expression. To the extent I felt others including Tamils, had faith in me, I took their position /status as mine and used the facilities comfortably. Beyond that, I actively and expressly used merit basis for this project at this place and time - with those who showed consciousness of higher position/status than I. With the needy, I took a parental position and included them with me through my wider faith in Common society beyond particular individuals. Some of the needy were in official positions and others outside IDP circles. They include ISPs (Internally Separated Persons) within and beyond Sri Lanka.

This faith based approach, during preparatory stages invoked negative response from some professional Tamils outside Sri Lanka, who were seeking to `make` a government for Sri Lankans through Tamils and sometimes for Tamils. I had to wear that and go with my assessment of majority feelings rather than individual and collective thinking through rights and wrongs. I said to that competing part of the Tamil Diaspora that I was in Sri Lanka to serve the needy and not to make government through intellectual skills. I said to those who saw themselves as kings and king-makers that they who stayed away from Sri Lanka at this crucial time, had a role to play through external influence but that I was working to help the needy from within by being one of them. Those who expressed themselves publicly at the risk of being rejected by the Sri Lankan government, to my mind, have made themselves into ISPs.

Shared Feelings
The form through which I experienced the pain of the needy was different to the form through which they experienced it. Most of them would not have had the strength of mind and forbearance to absorb the mental pain at the policy level of operation where one had more freedom of choice. As per my assessment, majority Tamils outside Sri Lanka did not come to be physically with the IDPs because they lacked this strength to withstand the pain and humiliation due to lack of official power. All of them have confirmed that they are not able to provide direct humanitarian service without position power. This is a great loss to Sri Lanka and to the World.

In discovering the power of democracy, I have learnt that as per Natural Justice, majority belief prevailed above individual thinking, based on rights and wrongs, through commonly accepted principles. The former is represented through majority vote and the latter through common principles of administration actually practiced over time. Those closest to the experience would therefore have the lateral power of democracy whilst those distant from the experience would need to calculate independently, the rights and wrongs of the respective sides.

Foreigners from Western countries do not seem to enjoy as much special attention in today`s Sri Lanka, as they did soon after 2004 Tsunami. Many officers showed greater appreciation for foreigners of Sri Lankan origin and I concluded that President Rajapakse`s message about our value was getting through to them.

I was also conscious of all those who left Sri Lanka, believing that Governments elected by majority race were against them. Belief is the basis of Natural power. Majority power has real validity and force due to belief. Any government that enjoys belief based faith of majority will succeed through Natural Forces. Hence the power of Democracy through governments elected by majority.

There is often conflict between these two forces within the minds of thinkers i.e. one`s calculated thinking through external factors/influences largely for the purpose of distribution of benefits and costs and belief based feelings from within. When the two become one we are already experiencing Peace.

Majority Tamils affected by the civil war believe/d that they were the victims of this majority force whose custodians were/ are Sinhalese at the National level. Majority Sinhalese believe that the war in Sri Lanka happened due to armed Tamils working against the government. They are both `true` and `right` within their own circles of faith and hence there is natural division between the two races to the extent of these beliefs. There needs to be recognition and acceptance of this natural division, for real Peace to happen.

But they are both wrong at the National level. A Sri Lankan who naturally feels for another Sri Lankan from the extremes of the `other` side and believes in her/himself to be Sri Lankan and therefore feels responsible for the pain and loss by both sides has earned Sri Lanka to be One country, even if s/he were minority of One. In the presence of that person the above two believers have no real power because their `local` beliefs no longer hold good once they start producing outcomes outside those circles. The only avenue available to them then is intellectual merit based credit at individual level.

In other words, those who seek to be driven by their beliefs must remain within the borders that generated that belief, to successfully lead themselves. I believe that feeling Sri Lankan is the power that I was/am adding to Sri Lanka by feeling with all side before and beyond calculations. Those who feel only/significantly more with one side, need to limit their activities, expressions and expectations to that community that they believe in or they would tend to work against democracy and self governance, by `telling` people what to do. My path is the Due Process for all those who have faith in me.


Public Administration & Management
Management is a combination of Administrative principles and reality/majority belief at that place and time. As a person committed to Public Administration where that was available, I consciously used Due Process wherever I came across an officer committed to her/his duty. Beyond that I used the Truth within me to work the system. Realizing that the Truth in which I invested manifests Itself when I need It, is my greatest discovery about connecting to Universal power through individual Truth. Facts when realized and owned by us become Truth.

It was therefore important for me to bring the pain felt by the IDPs and their families into myself as if that pain was mine. The form in which we `recognize` the pain may be different but the feeling is the same if we are able to bring others into us. That`s when we are family/community/nation. This was/is necessary due to majority IDPs being driven by their beliefs rather than their thoughts. Every Sinhalese who felt the pain of the IDPs is part of their family and their feelings naturally helped the IDPs through the system of Natural Justice. Those in Uniform had the facility to use their positions through which to express their feelings and feel truly Sri Lankan. Every Officer who exercised power had the responsibility to follow Due Process and/or Objectively measurable merit based assessments beyond the level of her/his feelings. Where this was not available the officer had the responsibility to `wait` until breach of law `happened` to punish and/or to reward.

Every Tamil who thought and expressed without position responsibility, pain beyond this level of feelings for the victims was / is working against Natural forces. S/he is working against their own natural forces of democratic governance. Feelers use internal forces before they surface to thought level and Thinkers use external forces towards including participants from wider world for higher level outcomes that more investors could identify with and feel ownership in. Hence the need for objective measures.

Tamils using their Truth and/or Due Processes of the governments of the nations they now call `home` are positive contributors to the struggle for self governance. Others who express without either - especially through external information/facts are working against self-governance including for themselves. Facts have to be realized to become feelings which consolidate into the Universal Power of Truth.

Feelers & Thinkers
Feelings and Thoughts are different. As I often say, in traditional families, Mothers are feelers and fathers are thinkers. A parent driven by feelings is a Mother and a parent driven by Thinking is a Father. One who experiences pain before pleasure is a Mother and therefore has the power to feel and help heal internally and confidentially. One who experiences pleasure before pain is a Father and therefore has the opportunity to attract participants from wider society.

Where majority victims are not able to think and express themselves for whatever reason they are like babies and one needs to use feelings...

Source(s)
Gaja Lakshmi Paramasivam

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Gaja
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 06:48:52 GMT  Report for Abuse  
Continued.....

Feelers & Thinkers
Feelings and Thoughts are different. As I often say, in traditional families, Mothers are feelers and fathers are thinkers. A parent driven by feelings is a Mother and a parent driven by Thinking is a Father. One who experiences pain before pleasure is a Mother and therefore has the power to feel and help heal internally and confidentially. One who experiences pleasure before pain is a Father and therefore has the opportunity to attract participants from wider society.

Where majority victims are not able to think and express themselves for whatever reason they are like babies and one needs to use feelings based service to heal rather than merit based discrimination to reward and punish. Feelings based service does not calculate . One part of us serves the other and hence the service is provided confidentially within us. Hence if we are calculating, we are not serving as if we are one group/family and hence we have the responsibility to consciously use the merit based observations of facts and thoughts to reward and punish through discriminative thinking.

Feelings based service is the foundation of programs whilst , merit based discrimination is the basis of project management. Programs are driven by Time and therefore suit vertical hierarchical management whilst Projects are limited through Time and are managed through immediately available lateral forces. When this happens, Time freezes and we need to produce immediate outcomes to reflect the value of our work. To the extent costs equal benefits the project has ownership/service value. Gradually, when benefits are greater than costs the projects become private enterprises. Where costs exceed benefits, they are part of public programs which educate us through time / our children and their quality of life.

Leadership
Majority victims on both sides to this war are not able to feel national and hence their expressions need to be through those who feel for them without calculations of benefits. Hence the role of a democratic government to express the belief of majority where that force is greater than actions based on discriminative thinking through rights and wrongs as per wider common principles some of which do not apply to our local environments. Hence this current outcome of defeat for Armed Tamils and their supporters, when President Rajapakse removed foreign forces who seemed to be on the side of Armed Tamils. To the extent these foreign forces failed to use the merit basis and/or express within their circle of belief their karma happened through this presidential action. I was personally not surprised because through my work applications for positions in these organizations carrying global status I assessed and concluded that they did not actively practice merit based assessment merit being recongised on the basis of needs in Sri Lanka. To me their job advertisements indicated that through their work they were seeking to get credit for their organizations at the global level. Their selection criteria seemed to be more towards credit for service at the global level. Hence their defeat through alienation by someone strongly using local power. They then have to wait until our internal healing has taken place. As Dr. Sivathas, the President of the Help to Heal group stated the world can learn from us Sri Lankans.

To serve the IDPs and all those who felt with them, we had/have to become the IDPs and their pain had/has to become ours. Any solution which flows from such feelings would work Naturally for the IDPs /us. In the process, we also had/have to ensure that we did not lose our own powers to work the system through direct natural participation. As I say to some members of the Tamil Diaspora who are not able to see anything right with the Sri Lankan government if they believe that the Government alone has caused this pain and loss then they must follow the independent intellectual process of an outsider, which is called the business (merit) approach. If they sought to participate and share their goodness to diffuse the weaknesses on both sides then they must not think and express prematurely but wait until they are able to take up an Equal and Opposite position with the government representative in their activity. Likewise every Sinhalese without position responsibility.

Healers & Warriors

Feelings based approach and treatment is the more economical and efficient approach especially in emergencies using common resources. Towards this, we need to use our own resources and hence we need to accept responsibility for whatever happened to us. When we find fault with ourselves to the extent we are able to correct ourselves through ourselves, we become stronger as a family/ community/ nation. Natural forces flow from this inner strength of ownership . To the extent we blame others for what happened to us we lose that opportunity to become Natural forces/healers. To the extent we blame others, we need to have contributed to a merit based system of distribution of status and money benefits and costs. To the extent we feel equal to the person on the other side, through whom we are expressing our opposition, we are their mirrors, showing their other side. If we are therefore less than equal in real terms we are generating negative karma which would come back to us over time. To the extent of our contribution we have the moral right to expect and demand such returns from equal outsiders . Once a reliable structure is in place to show up this other side, we already have harmony through merit based divisions / discrimination and use of the other side as our mirrors of our other side that we are not able to see with our own eyes.

One Community Support Officer (CSO) asked during our training session in Vavuniya as to what solution I would suggest to the problem that they were not able to counsel their patients one to one without the supervision of armed officers. I responded by saying that I took it as the CSO asking me whether I could use my international status to influence the government to facilitate this? I said that if I started thinking of the merits of that block I would lose the power of my feelings. Hence I had to accept that as part of the system without thinking rights and wrongs as we do in families. Those who seek status through making and developing a Government could play that role. I said right now, that was not my role but one to serve the needy within me and to help them govern themselves with what they have here and now. I said by just being with the patients was the best natural counseling which is what most of the victims need right now. This is something majority Tamils outside Vavuniya had/have the power to do but failed to do. Majority Tamils in Vavuniya have provided this humanitarian sharing. They are the insiders who have real political power. Majority of them are now against armed groups including the LTTE especially the LTTE which refused their children passes to escape the war zone and severely punished those who disobeyed them. As per my assessment LTTE failed with its people due to rapid and excessive growth of benefits which came at the cost of the foundation of democracy common faith by the people in themselves through their leaders.

Even with families there is a time for faith based healing and a time for merit based external care. The latter works more effectively and efficiently when the former avenue has been exhausted. Those families /nations that lack external resources rely heavily on this internal healing rather than external discrimination/ warring. This is our time for faith based healing during which period all thinking outsiders including Tamils who are driven by wins and losses, need to respect our need for privacy. Everyone who seeks to participate in the healing program must do a self-assessment and ask her/himself why s/he was not with the IDPs physically during this time. Contrary to some news-reports that civilians are not being allowed into the camps, those of us who genuinely felt the need to be with them used the facilities available to us and there were no blocks to us seeing our loved ones and getting first hand information from them. I asked one inmate who was complaining of inconveniences whether she was finding it difficult to sleep in the nights due to mosquitoes and lack of ventilation, both being my forms of discomfort. She said that she did not have that problem but it was more the shortage of toilet facilities. Our inconveniences / difficulties are experienced through different forms at the one place at the one time. Sharing our comforts mentally is natural healing. Using the two lines / Iru Kodukal philosophy, when we draw a longer line alongside the short one the short one no longer seems a problem. But to have this effect the taller pain needs to be physically close to the shorter one.

Self Assessment
We succeed through democracy only when the gap between our self confidence and our self observation is narrow. As discussed in our training sessions with the Counselors we recognize the importance of self assessment through the three stages self observation self assessment and self confidence as in body, mind and soul. Like the mind, self assessment is a combination of self observation and self confidence. The more we see ourselves through outsiders the wider the gap between observation and confidence. Hence it is important that we see ourselves through those who feel for us and/or for whom we fee even if it is just ourselves. Hence my sharing with the needy for which I had to be driven by internal self confidence. Those who are driven by external forces tend to produce more visible outcomes of their work for benefits and this reduces the contribution they make to their inner confidence.

A good counselor/worker does not need many tools. One who needs strong tools needs to first invest in making those tools/structures or find the structures made by others and add her/himself to it through faith. Those who lack faith have to use zero base approach and hence merit basis and project approach.

My Experience
Armed with my clearance papers, I, left or Vavuniya by train - Yarl Thevi (Jaffna Lady) - on 02 July

I booked my seat as per availability and this happened to be 1st class. We were joined by a white lady who seemed to be of European origin and one of the Tamils traveling with us asked her whether she had MOD (Ministry of Defence Clearance?). The lady said yes . I thought to myself that I also had the papers from the Health Ministry. I was quite used to getting clearance from MOD to go to Jaffna on merit basis even though I felt Jaffna. This year getting that clearance took many trips to Galle Face, due to the celebrations by armed forces in that area. I went many times and was told many times because I was seen to be part of majority Tamils who seemed to be against the government.

I traveled to Vavuniya with an open mind and hence did not anticipate any problems on the way. I did not have any problems on my regular trips to Jaffna. Hence I did not anticipate any on my way to Vavuniya. To my mind, I had patiently waited and followed Due Process and was entitled to all the facilities provided by the government to the public. In addition, by passing the security exam through merit basis i.e. MOD clearance - I had earned some special concessions above the common public like a private/foreign student.

When we arrived at Mathavaachi station, all of us were asked to disembark with our luggage and go through the security process. I took my turn in the queue and did not protest when many women jumped the queue. I happened to be the last due to this passive approach. The officer in uniform asked me whether I did not have a national ID card. I said I did not bring it with me from Australia. I have thus far not used my Sri Lankan national ID to make the process easier for myself because I am legally Australian and felt committed to follow Due Process as a foreigner where this was required. Here was a situation where foreigners required MOD clearance and the Health Ministry clearance under due delegation was not accepted by the officers at the Railway station. I was taken to the senior officer who refused to accept the Health Ministry clearance. I pleaded with him but he failed to relent. I heard the whistle of the station master and pleaded with the officer to put me on the train to Vavuniya. The officer said I had to go back to Colombo and come back with the MOD Clearance! I felt really frustrated and was close to crying. Then I heard another officer say She is a Sri Lankan and she deserves to be treated like one . I blessed the guy and he then said that I could go with their female officers to the Defence Commander at the Road check point and said I had to pay for the auto-cab. I said ok. Off we went with me in the middle and the two female officers on either side. One was very talkative but the other was very serious and very kind. The latter paid her respects to the senior officers and presented me as a genuine traveler seeking to help. The commander asked for the papers and said they needed a photocopy. I said I had one. The commander signed the approval and handed it back to me. Just then a senior female officer said But there is no vehicle number stated here . My heart fell. Out came from my file a picture of Lakshmi with Sinhalese lettering. I got this picture from our nephew who died at the age of 42 whilst working in Vavuniya within government administration. The picture fell on the ground and the commander said right at that moment that my papers were ok and asked the female officers to assist me to go to Vavuniya by bus. I knew then that I had connected to that officer through common faith whilst the female officer who required the vehicle number was trying to make it difficult for me by requiring every t to be crossed to pass the exam. I took the net positive value between these officers as the government for this project.

On my return from Vavuniya through Mathavaachi, the officers of the Railway station showed much appreciation for my determination. I particularly blessed the kind female officer who did follow Due Process but did so with positive feelings.

The bus at the border was about to leave and was overflowing with passengers on the footboard also. My backpack was shoved into the luggage section at the back and I was urged to get in. I stepped in and managed to get one foot on the second step into the bus and another on the third. My left hand held tightly to my shoulder bag with my documents and the little money bag holding my cash and passport. I recalled how I had lost some money whilst traveling to Associated Motorways where I worked in 1976. I knew that a guy was picking my handbag but I did not know how to stop him. My confidence levels back then were far below current levels. I lost about Rs 175. That was the only experience of this kind and through majority rule I tried to remind myself that I was not in danger of losing money, so long as I remained conscious of my direct experience. I was alert and was ready to catch anyone who tried to steal my hard earned, hard saved money as I did last year here in Colombo during temple festival. On my return from Vavuniya traveling by tightly packed private van to Mathavaachi the woman next to me started feeling me around the waist. I was puzzled and later realized that she was looking for my money bag usually tied around the waist. I had my money bag hanging from the shoulder and I clung to it tightly until we disembarked at the Mathavaachi station around 8.30 p.m. to catch the Mail-Train that left at 10.45 p.m.

Inside the bus to Vavuniya, I reminded myself again and again that my inner Truth/God has always come to my help when I did not know about the risks/dangers involved but genuinely went about my work. I reminded myself that I had to learn from such lessons and not continue to think that such environments were safe . Once we have had an unsafe experience, it is not possible to believe that the environment was safe any more. We could only think so due to desires and/or laziness/indifference & negligence. Then the Truth within ourselves through direct experience is covered by these thoughts and hence Natural powers no longer protect us through natural goodness in others. This is true also of the IDPs who are currently against the LTTE. Until they did not know they had their belief based powers protecting them. But now that they know they have to use their knowledge and merit based calculations or live in an environment where there is no LTTE power.

I arrived at the residence of my relative around 2 p.m., had a wash and lunch and left towards the General Hospital to get in touch with Dr. Suthakaran who was recommended by Dr. Suveendran of the WHO. I wore sari when I traveled to Vavuniya as well as when I went out in Vavuniya this time around. I was asked by Professor David Tracey of the University of NSW when I wore sari to emphasize the need for racial equality at the University as to the basis on which I decided which attire to wear on a particular day? I smiled and said it depended on my inner feelings. My inner feelings said that I would be more effective in Vavuniya by blending in with the Sri Lankans and not standing out as a foreigner . In Australia, at the University of NSW I felt the need to stand out as Indian/Sri Lankan because I felt the racial discrimination especially by the older lower level officers who did not have the opportunity to grow up in a multicultural environment and who were weak in merit based systems. Hence my message that we were not dumb as they tended to think. There at the University of NSW I was considered a high performer by the Dean who used continuous assessment and hence I was able to share that with the foreign students who lacked English language skills and were frustrating some of the senior white citizens. My decision to wear sari in Vavuniya was through my intuitive feelings that I needed to work the system as a Sri Lankan. There I had to show I was smart. Here in Sri Lanka I had to show that I was dumb.

At the Vavuniya hospital, I observed the hospital overflowing with patients but I did not pause to feel sorry for them as individuals. That was not the purpose for which I had come. So, I sought and found Dr. Suthakaran who was most helpful and after the preliminaries, referred me to Consultant Psychiatrist Dr. Sivathas a young dynamic professional with deep commitment to his work and love for his society. I met also other members of the Mental Health Program and appreciated very much their dedicated service during these difficult times. As approved by the Health Ministry, I was facilitated to conduct workshops for the Community Support Officers.

Help to Heal
I am particularly appreciative of the program Help to Heal being launched by the Mental Health group including UNHCR, Shade and MSF, under the leadership of Dr. Sivathas. Office bearers were elected and in recognition of our work through Yoga Swami and Sathya Sai devotees abroad, I have been included in this group as its International coordinator. I felt deeply moved by this recognition Spiritual Healing Program and thanked God for being there and acting through His messengers in this group also. I knew then that my sense of belonging was being recognized and felt happy.

As one of the first healing events planned by our group, we propose to have religious ceremonies within the camps so those who have lost loved ones could participate, mourn and honour their dead. 21st July which this year is remembrance day for dead fathers (Aadi Amaa Vaasai) as per Hindu calendar was chosen for this auspicious facility. Such events would be held each month and 15 August the day of Our Lady of Madu, has been chosen for the second month to remember and honour as a camp community. I felt really good about all this and suggested using Paalavy water from the world famous Thiruketheeswaram temple near by, in the Hindu ceremony. That was how I honoured the dead from my family during this tragedy.

Thiruketheeswaram
I was planning on going to Naina Theevu in Jaffna, on the day of the big festival on 06 July. But the way things happened I was in Vavuniya on 06 July. I therefore decided to go to the world famous Thiruketheeswaram temple as well as Our Lady of Madu - on the way to Mannar from Vavuniya. I was informed that civilians were not allowed into Madu but that it was possible to go to Thiruketheeswaram.

With the wisdom of my experience in 2006, I took the early bus and ended up at the entrance to Thiruketheeswarm village around 9.50 a.m., after many security checks on the way. At the Thiruketheeswaram checkpoint, I was informed by the officer that the morning bus to the temple had gone at 8.30 and the next one was due only at 2.30 in the afternoon. I said that that would be too late for me to participate in the noon poojah. After we thought about the problem together, the officer said he would arrange for me to go in one of the vehicles that went that way. I said ok and handed over my passport as is required for security purposes.

I waited anxiously for sometime and told myself that if I did not get transport by 11 o clock, I would pray at that main entrance to the village and return to Vavuniya. To me the feeling with which we pray is more important than our physical presence at the shrine. A van full of men came there about 40 minutes later. I went with them up to another point from where I had to walk about ten minutes. I was grateful for the Defence officers at the point where I was dropped off and started singing to myself the special song by Saint Suntharamoorthi Nayanar - Nathaar Paddai Gnanan Pasu - praising the Glory of Lord Thiruketheeswarm Shiva. There was no one in sight along the way and hence I felt the need to sing loud to myself so I did not fear external risks, but invoked ancient powers of that sacred shrine.

I went first to Paalavi Waters which is believed to have sacred powers to heal mind and body and said my prayers for all those who died in this war and sought the blessings of Lord Ganesh at the temple on the banks of Paalavi. I arrived at the main Shiva temple well before the 12 noon poojah and prayed to my heart s content especially at the huge Nanthi symbolizing to me Education and at the majestic Shiva Lingam said to have been buried during European rule and resurrected subsequently. I got ready to leave soon after the completion of the poojah but the official bus was due only at 2.30. I then observed the private bus in which a group of school girls had come with their teachers. I asked the teachers whether I could go with them to the main road and they said yes. At the request of the temple authorities I participated in their Annathaanam (lunch service). When I came out of the lunch hall, I noticed a UNHCR vehicle parked at the entrance of the temple. I noticed the driver getting ready to leave. I ran up to them and asked whether I could go with them to the top of the road? The UNHCR Officer said no because our new rules do not permit us to do that! I thought to myself how come the rules permit UN officers to use the official vehicles for private visits to the temple? Since I was genuine in my need and had genuinely earned through my global level work, to use UN facilities, my criticism in my mind will certainly add to their karma through Natural Justice. I asked, because that vehicle was leaving before the school bus and I did not want to miss the bus back to Vavuniya, as happened in 2006. The global organisation s heart was not as big as the local one s yet another confirmation that President Rajapakse s strategy had Divine support for this purpose of defeating what he believed to be terrorism. LTTE s expectations of the UN diluted the powers of its genuine belief and hence its defeat.

Sri Agilandeswary Arulaham

Before leaving for Vavuniya, I received from fellow Sai devotee, Dushy Pithcumani of Sydney, an email regarding war orphans being cared for by Management of Sivan Temple at Kovilkulam in Vavuniya. Later, our relation Mr. Navanesan as well as Dr. Sivathas recommended that I went to this orphanage. This I did, without announcing my visit and found much satisfaction that the 230 odd orphans there are being well cared for. I was introduced to a 10 week old baby girl who looked cute and held my little finger and kept looking into my eyes. She was tiny and her carers said that she was born and orphaned in the middle of the battlefield. The person in charge Mr. Arumugam Navaratnarajah asked me to name her . I wanted to say Gayathri in appreciation of my youngest daughter Gayathri who appreciates babies very much but thought that that would be selfish. Hence I said Abirami which is also another name for Holy Mother. Mr. Navaratnarajah promptly said Another baby has that name. Give us another name. I happily said from within, to him and the two older girls caring for the children Gayathri and felt so very appreciative of the opportunity. That was also what I really wanted and God/Truth/Love facilitated that in appreciation of my services. Later when I shared this experience with our son who contributes regularly to our humanitarian projects in Sri Lanka, he asked whether we get to keep little Gayathri for ourselves. I have since arranged for our children to sponsor little Gayathri who happened to be naturally adopted through the blessings of Universal Mother Agilandeswari. I later realized that subconsciously I had named this child appropriately as little Gayathri now represents children of Mother Universe /Global Mothers and hence the Universal Gayathri Mantra chanted regularly by Sai devotees. That morning too, I chanted Gayathri mantra in front of the picture of Mother Gayathri at the Sri Sathya Sai Center near Indian Peace Keeping Force s (IPKF) Thedi Vantha Pillayar temple in Vavuniya. All this confirmed to me that when we are genuine, the right things happen to fill us with peace and happiness.

I recall the Sai message I received in Vavuniya Those who walk with God always reach their destination

Overriding my temptation to adopt this little girl and take her to Australia, I have structured a system whereby the older girls who are looking for vocational training would communicate regularly with the foster parents of these little kids and would get paid a training allowance. Arrangements are also being made to train these older girls to use communication facilities and gain language skills to communicate at the global level.

Camps & Hospitals

The discomfort in the camps due to shortage of water, toilet facilities and medical services continues. But the people of Vavuniya have more than made up for many of these shortages through their continuous visits to see and be with the inmates in the camps. Hats of to the People of Vavuniya.

I said to the Tamils abroad who said that food was not reaching the camps that they could come to Sri Lanka and take the food and themselves to comfort their own, instead of waiting for the government which to them is an outsider to do this. If they do not do this I conclude that they do not consider the camp community their own.

The reports about discomforts do reflect a fair view of the physical conditions. But the big hearts of the ordinary villager is a huge compensation that would continue to last. Most of them are ordinary citizens without portfolios. They travel almost daily (except on the days the camps are closed for visitors), to be with their loved ones. They endure the long waits in the queues, the security screening and the waiting when inmates are being traced by fellow IDPs . I smiled to myself at the sight of an old lady carrying a big jack fruit for her loved ones inside. This group brought also short-eats and celebrated at the fence, the birthday of a young boy. Another couple handed over the fence, with the approval of the uniformed officer, their 6 month old baby so the inmates could also enjoy the feel of the baby.

There were few who did not have visitors and my heart went out to them. They were mostly seniors or the very young who came running at the slightest indicator that they may have a visitor. Once when I went to the Vavuniya hospital in the ambulance, a little boy of about ten came running to me and asked eagerly whether the ambulance was from Pathaviya. I said no, we are coming from Chettikulam . The little one s face fell and I sadly noted the festering wound above his left eyebrow. To my lay eyes the wound seemed to be a bullet wound. I prayed for someone to meet the needs of that little boy. Later when I shared this with my children, my emotions as a mother surfaced to strengthen my feelings for the little boy. I know that that will find its way through God s system of Natural Justice.

Like with little Gayathri above, I had to resist my temptation to deliver individual solutions through my immediate emotions. I had to translate my feelings and think at the national level so all would benefit.

I did pay special attention to families that lost children. One such family lost their thirteen year old daughter due to the bombing by government forces. Their 18 year old son who was kept hidden from the LTTE was shot at when he tried to flee the area. His leg has been amputated due to lack of immediate medical facilities. Mother and sons are in the camp whilst the father a government officer, continues to work during the day and cry alone in the nights. The release papers are yet to be signed by the commander responsible. I felt that they needed a new life and have arranged for their family in Canada to sponsor them. To me that was therapy and I am confident that my genuine effort will produce positive outcome in whatever form.

During our workshops, we discussed possible solutions by using immediately available facilities. I emphasized the importance of us not placing ourselves in situations where we are publicly found fault with. I said memories of defeats without balancing wins was causing depression and therefore to help the depressed by sharing our wins in return for them sharing their defeats which would lead us to feelings of deeper ownership. At ownership level, we peacefully accept defeats and wins and remain at breakeven level. Hence the sharing between two groups one with excessive wins and the other with excessive defeats.

Conclusion
Tamils of Sri Lanka are currently suffering from their wounds of defeat and loss of freedom of movement. Those who were restricted by the LTTE blame them for their pain and suffering. There was a report that some inmates at the camp where the family of an LTTE leader were staying, tried to attack the leader and his family. LTTE followers are at risk of being attacked by civilians especially parents whose children were killed or maimed due to rejection of pass by the LTTE. It is very painful for these Tamils to realize that they have been let down by the very people in whom they placed their trust.

It took this final battle for these villagers to appreciate that they have been misled by their own. But the longer the government detains them especially those who obviously are not at risk of causing physical violence for example home making mothers and children - the more reasons they would find to turn against the government. Simple folks find the first available reason to blame and soon that would be armed officers of the government. Right now it is the armed Tamils who misled them.

Hence our healing needs to happen here and now and come from within. We need to accept defeat and heal ourselves as a community. Tamils are strongly family and community oriented. They are already healing through their families and community outside the camps. They/we need the space to relieve ourselves of our pain through natural sharing with those who feel with us. We need prevention of interference from thinkers including from our own Tamil community. We need space just to be and without the heavy burden to make a government that is seen to be winning. We need to just be. As our own Saint Yoga Swami said we need to have still minds be natural let nature flow be Natural - Summa Iru .

Gaja Lakshmi Paramasivam


Edited By - Gaja - 13 Jul 2009 06:49:46 GMT
toyota
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 06:51:33 GMT  Report for Abuse  
Mala keliyai Gaja is back...

no peelam ....
deborak
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 06:59:20 GMT  Report for Abuse  
Gaja!!

mourning period OVER!

:)

Yet to read your as usual LONG boaring article! Will DO MY BEST TO READ!

yawwwnn!!
MarkLevinson
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 07:02:06 GMT  Report for Abuse  
Welcome back!!
laliths
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 07:03:30 GMT  Report for Abuse  
Ms.Gaja,

How about a Mental Health Project for the Internally Displaced Persons in Vanni due to LTTE inhumane treatment as Human Shields?

May be you should get your head examined first!
Voodoo
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 07:05:33 GMT  Report for Abuse  



om




cookie1
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 07:12:40 GMT  Report for Abuse  
Gaja, you are doing great service. God bless you. Fist time I read all of your blog.
alwaysalion
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 07:15:41 GMT  Report for Abuse  
Fist time I read all of your blog.

You can have the week off to rest!
Voodoo
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 07:19:44 GMT  Report for Abuse  
god bless u


she is ok/only little draging due to her age cookie dont worry,read more and help her/we should help elders
Voodoo
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 		LK Information  13 Jul 2009 07:24:45 GMT  Report for Abuse  
Dear cookie how old are u
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