The Triple A`s of a Great Relationship

Couples can lose the spark for every reason under the sun. They get too busy with work or kids. They forget the little things, like kisses and small thank you`s. Most relationship splits don`t come down to a dramatic, life-shattering problem. Rather, it`s the gradual slip of each partner`s behavior that does it.

I`ve got an easy formula that will put some life back into any lukewarm relationship. I call it The Three A`s of Relationship Rescue:

1. The first `A` is for Appreciation. Both sexes benefit from getting back to the sweet adoration of early love. In those days it was effortless. You rocked each other`s world without even trying to. Every gesture was met with the simplest of relationship life-preservers: gratitude. Ultimately, showing appreciation makes the other person feel seen and heard. You feel like you matter. In the workaday of chores, errands, bills and whose turn it is to take the dog out, appreciation can go right out the window. You`re both so busy that you start to take what the other person is doing for granted. Take a step back and say `thank-you` more than you might. Think of something everyday that your partner did and thank him or her for it-even on the bad days! It will help you weather the storms of love.

2. The second `A` is for Attention. This one is more for the guys. Remember how much you used to court your partner in the beginning? Every date was an event. Every absence a tragedy. It helps to bring back some of that urgency and romance to what`s going on now. If you haven`t brought home flowers for no particular reason since the last Leap Year, please head directly to the florist. If you never call just to say I love you, pick up the phone. Women want to feel cared for and loved and cherished-and not just when you`re trying to get sex or make something up to her. Little gestures of seduction, with no expectations, will go a long way towards reigniting her attraction to you. Why not plan to do something nice every week? The more a woman feels that her partner is tuning into her emotionally, by helping with the kids or the house or doing something sweet, the more apt she is to be sexual. Need any more reasons?

3. The last `A` is for Appearance. Ladies, do you remember how much effort you put into your looks at the beginning of your relationship? I`ll bet that a day at the ballgame got more effort than your anniversary does these days! Men are visual creatures. Your hair, your body, your appearance is what caught his interest in the first place. As I like to say, if you`ve let yourself go, your partner may still love you, but he`s not going to lust you. And sorry, but kids and cooking dinner and all of that other stuff is not an excuse for looking disheveled on a regular basis. Your appearance needs to once again become a priority! In fact, when you keep yourself looking good on a daily basis, it becomes a habit. Don`t reserve looking nice for a special occasion. It sends the message that you only care in a way that`s strategic, designed to appease him rather than prioritize a fundamental part of his attraction to you. It will also make you feel better about yourself to stop making excuses. Eat right, put on a little mascara and lip gloss, and shave your legs more than once a week!

And men don`t get off the hook here. While the visual is not quite as important to women, generally speaking, no one wants a slovenly partner. Beer guts, untended nose hair, and clothing from the mid-90s are serious offenses! If you expect her to look good, please do the same.

Ultimately, a healthy relationship is what`s going to drive your passion for each other, which is what`s going to rev the engine of a healthy relationship!