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Thomians dilute Royal glory
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pluto100
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 11 Nov 2007 13:01:33 GMT Report for Abuse
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This is how they all do it!
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.
ACTORS do it on cue.
ADVERTISERS use the 'new, improved' method.
AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.
ANSI does it in the standard way
ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.
ARCHITECTS have great plans.
ARTISTS are exhibitionists.
ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.
ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.
ATTORNEYS make better motions.
AUDITORS like to examine figures.
BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.
BAILIFFS always come to order.
BAKERS knead it daily.
BAND MEMBERS play all night.
BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.
BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.
BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.
BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.
BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.
BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.
BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.
BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.
BOSSES delegate the task to others.
BOWLERS have bigger balls.
BRICKLAYERS lay all day.
BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.
BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.
BUTCHERS have better meat.
C'Bers do it on the air.
CAMPERS do it in a tent.
CARPENTERS hammer it harder.
CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.
CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.
CHEMISTS like to experiment.
CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.
CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.
CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.
CLOWNS do it for laughs.
COACHES whistle while they work.
COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.
COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.
COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.
COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.
CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.
CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.
COPS have bigger guns.
COWBOYS handle anything horny.
COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.
CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.
CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.
DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.
DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.
DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.
DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.
DENTISTS do it in your mouth.
DETECTIVES do it under cover.
DIETICIANS eat better.
DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.
DIVERS do it deeper.
DOCTORS do it with patience.
DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.
DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.
DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.
ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.
ENGINEERS charge by the hour.
EXECUTIVES have large staffs.
FARMERS spread it around.
FIREMEN are always in heat.
FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.
FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.
FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.
FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.
GARBAGE MEN come once a week.
GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.
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All4one
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 401
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 12 Nov 2007 07:06:39 GMT Report for Abuse
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Technical Helpline for Men and Women..
Dear Tech Support:
Husband 1.0
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0, and NBA 3.6.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
Dear Desperate:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command: Start-Run...- and type 'ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME' in the box next to Open, hit Enter or click OK. This will download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
Remember, though, that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly 10.8.
Whatever you do: DO NOT install Mother-in- Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Wife 1.0
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Boys Night Out 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the Uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application 'Yes Dear' to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:-APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and Pay Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag-Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
WARNING! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
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All4one
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 401
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12 Nov 2007 07:22:40 GMT Report for Abuse
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This is how they all do it!
Cricket's do it with bat & ball
Sometime there no-balled, batsman get a free hit
Edited By - All4one - 12 Nov 2007 07:27:20 GMT |
tamilcanuck
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 14195
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 24 Nov 2007 20:56:46 GMT Report for Abuse
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Subject: Cricket Commentary
Q: How does a cricket commentator describe a nude girl?
A: There is no cover , no extra cover, no slip, but 2 silly points & 2 fine legs, a deep gully. and little grass on the pitch! will be bit wet after overnight rain. any way It's going to be a fine batting pitch. Good for googlies and better for finger spin.
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prince
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 399
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 25 Nov 2007 11:58:31 GMT Report for Abuse
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| Wow, started in May 2005 & still going strong. Keep up the good work & hopefully i will be able to visit more often now. |
Bonggo
Senior Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 11008
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 25 Nov 2007 16:06:08 GMT Report for Abuse
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Prince,
Glad to see you are back. Since you left most others stopped visiting too.
Let us revive the good old gang. |
groovygirl
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 12776
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 25 Nov 2007 16:35:29 GMT Report for Abuse
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Bongsy
no play today due to rain
No clouds in my storms
Let it rain
When the sun shines
We?ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
--------------------------
Top Ten things NOT to say in Victoria's Secrets
- The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!!
- No Thanks. Just sniffing.
- I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
- Mom will love this.
- Do you have this with a Dallas Cowboy Logo on it?
- No need to wrap it up, I'll eat it here.
- Will you model this for me???
- Oh honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that!
- 45 bucks?? You're gonna end up NAKED anyways!!
- Does this come in children's sizes?
Edited By - groovygirl - 25 Nov 2007 16:54:44 GMT |
pluto100
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 2643
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25 Nov 2007 20:05:03 GMT Report for Abuse
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The punishments in hell
A man dies, and he's looking in the gates of hell.
There he sees John Kennedy with an incredibly ugly girl. The man turns to the Devil and asks why John Kennedy is with this hideous looking person. The Devil replies, 'Well, John has done some bad things in his life and that's his punishment.'
The man looks around a little more and sees Bill Clinton with a beautiful model. The stunned guy asks 'What's Bill Clinton doing with that model?' The devil replied, 'Well, that model did some pretty bad things in her life.'
Edited By - pluto100 - 25 Nov 2007 20:06:52 GMT |
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