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Happy fasting bro

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, 'Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place.' So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is admitted. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and, as is the wont for engineers, starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks, 'So how's it going down there in hell?'

Satan replies, 'Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flushing toilets and working escalators, and there's no telling what an engineer is going to come up with next.' God replies, 'What You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.' Satan says, 'No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him.' God says, 'Send him back up here or I'll sue.' Satan laughs uproariously and answers, 'Yeah right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?'

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, 'Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?' A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, 'It's my dog. Why?'

'Well,' squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, 'I believe my dog just killed it, sir.' 'What?' roared the big man in disbelief. 'What in the hell kind of dog do you have?' 'Sir,' answered the little man, 'it's a little four week old female puppy.' 'Bull!' roared the biker, 'how could your puppy kill my Doberman?' 'It appears that your dog choked on her, sir.'