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Thomians dilute Royal glory
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Bonggo
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 11 May 2006 10:37:58 GMT Report for Abuse
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Match has started. England Batting first and 21 without loss.
One Royalist in the team and no Thomians :(( |
LuLa
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11 May 2006 11:02:00 GMT Report for Abuse
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Management skills
A shepherd was looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.
Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a young
man dressed in an Armani suit, Ray Bans, Tag Heuer watch, White Cerutti shoes, tailor-made mauve shirt, with a Boss tie.
He gets out and asks the shepherd: 'If I can guess how many sheep you
have, can I keep one?'
The shepherd looks at the large flock of sheep and says: 'Okay'.
The young man connects his laptop to his mobile phone/fax, enters the
NASA website, scans the field using his GPS, opens the database linked
to 60 Excel tables, filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then
prints out a 150 page report on his high tech mini printer. He studies
the reports and says to the shepherd: 'You have 1586 sheep'.
The shepherd replies: 'That's correct. You can have the pick of my
flock.'
The young man packs away his equipment, looks at the flock and puts one
into the boot of the Porsche.
As he is about to leave, the Shepherd says: 'If I can guess what your
profession is will you return the animal to me?'
The young man thinks for a minute and says: 'Okay'.
The shepherd says: 'You are a Management Consultant'.
The young man says: 'Correct, how did you know?'
The Shepherd replied: 'Simple. First you came here without being
invited.'
'Second you charged me a fee for something I already knew.'
'Third, you don't understand anything about my business.'
'Now, can I have my DOG back?' |
Bonggo
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11 May 2006 13:12:27 GMT Report for Abuse
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Yes Naleen you are wise enough to accept it :)
Shall see you all on Saturday.
Happy Wesak to all |
prince
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 11 May 2006 14:43:25 GMT Report for Abuse
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Yes, happy wesak. One for the road ...
-
Chris Rock's (whoever he is)Quote of the year ...
'You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, The tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, The swiss hold the America's cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, germany doesnt want to go to war & they three ost powerful med in the US are named BUSH, DICK & COLON.
Need I say more' ??? |
LuLa
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11 May 2006 15:13:01 GMT Report for Abuse
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One person wrote a letter to his wife,
Dear Sweet Heart
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
Yours Hubby
His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest Hubby
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details..
1. Milk man was agreed on 2 kisses
2. Teacher agreed on 7 kisses
3. Our house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses of mine.
4. Vegetable and food shop keeper was not agreeing with kisses only, so I have given some other items to him...........
5. Others 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have balance 35 kisses and I hope I can complete this month.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please advise .
Your Sweet Heart
HAPPY WESAK TO ALL. |
tamilcanuck
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 11 May 2006 15:28:57 GMT Report for Abuse
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THE WAY IT USED TO BE
The gram sellers at Galle Face Green sold their
'kadala gotu' topped with 'isso wade' for
twenty-five cents. The moviegoers at Savoy cinema
came out; couples went to Aleric's for ice cream and
families budgeted in miserly fashion for Chinese
fried rice at Golden Gate.
Gunawardene opened batting for the Tamil Union and
Sundaralingam kept wickets for the Sinhalese Sports
Club. This was once nostalgic Sri Lanka on easy
street sans the raging war and the terrible turmoil;
'The way it used to be'.
The 'Yal Devi' took the Madhu pilgrims and the
'Ruhunu Kumari' carried the Kataragama clan.
Marawila fishermen fished at Mullativu with the
monsoon change and Lever's and Reckitt's Sales Reps
sold toothpaste in Jaffna and drank 'Tal Raa' whilst
bathing in Keeramalai tank.
The Vel cart used to
come down Wellawatta and the waiters worked double
time at Saraswati Lodge. The differences were there
from the North to the South, but who cared? Nobody
killed anyone. There was a life, simple and in
peace.
Bala Tampoe took the CMU out on strike every year
and the Parliament changed colours every five years
with mythological promises. That was acceptable. The
queues got long at the CWE to buy 'Jumping Fish' and
the price of bread leapt like high jumpers. Those
were
our big problems.
The smiles were there too,
affordable to all and sundry, beat shows and big
matches, sports meets and school carnivals, all
within a ten-rupee budget.
Fashion-wise, the
pinnacle was the CR-Havies match at Longdon Place;
the Suzettes and Claudettes were there, dazzling in
mini skirts, making their best attempts to get
partnered to go to the Coconut Grove and jingo and
jive to the Jetliners. Some made it to Akasa Kade
too, to eat egg hoppers and hold hands and become
more naughty whilst pretending to be watching the
ship lights at the Colombo harbour.
There was peace; it was a long long time ago. That
was before the Morris Minor taxis changed their
English alphabet number plates.
Then came the carnage. Who's to blame?
Don't waste
time, that's kicking the moon and coralling clouds.
We all know better. We are all to be blamed, some
for cheering and others for their silence. It has
always been 'our soldiers' - but it is 'their' war.
The guns are silent now and the talks go on and hope
seeps slow like a weed-clogged wave.
If the Gods are kind, we'll have peace. Let it lie
there. 'North and East must be separate' 'Don't
give this ','Can't have that', ' Autonomy? what
nonsense?' Such passionate phrases bellow from
borrowed patriotism.
'My son has to study'. 'No,
no, not to join the Air Force' ,'Army? are you mad?'
The same voices add the contradictions. 'We must
continue to fight at any cost'. Brave words, quite
cheap too when rights and wrongs are just 'whys'
sprouting out from empty opinions on even emptier
forums.
Try telling all that to mothers who buried their
sons or children who pray for their missing fathers.
Voice it to a legless 'Boy' from Velvettiturai or a
sightless soldier from Devundara. Or maybe to a
lover who lights a candle for some forgotten fighter
buried under swollen earth, too poor even for a
memorial.
What does it matter to which side they belonged !
Edited By - tamilcanuck - 11 May 2006 15:29:53 GM |
Mucha-linda
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 12 May 2006 01:02:31 GMT Report for Abuse
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* Geography in Women's Anatomy:
Woman aged between 10 to 15 yrs is like Israel or Cuba,
...there is nothing much in there and no one wants get in to trouble by being involved.
Woman aged 15 to 19 is like Australia or New Zealand,
...full of resources, but largely untouched.
Woman aged 20 to 29 is like Singapore or Hong Kong,
...booming economies make heavens for investors.
Woman aged 30 to 39 is like Japan or UK,
...resources are managed to the max and everybody know that.
Woman aged 40 to 49 is like India or Spain,
...very Hot, and the past glory still attracts visitors.
Woman aged 50 to 59 is like Iraq or Afghanistan,
...coming into the terms with the devastating wars waged in the past.
Woman aged 60 to 70 is like Greenland or Antarctica,
...cold climates prevent people going there and visitors are largely confined to explorations.
* Geography in Men's Anatomy:
Man aged 10 to 70 is like United States,
...governed by a Dick.
.
Edited By - Mucha-linda - 12 May 2006 01:31:33 GM |
shanika
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 366
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 12 May 2006 02:59:10 GMT Report for Abuse
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Happy Vesak to all!!
Good one TC-- this thread is really going strong thanks to the creativity and good work of many. so keep them coming...
and now for some kid stuff but it's kind of funny.
A teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each
child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked
them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
It's hard to believe these were actually done by primary school kids, because the last one is classic!
Strike while the ..........................insect is close.
Never underestimate the power of............ants.
Don't bite the hand that....................looks dirty.
Better to be safe than......................punch a grade 7 boy.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll...........stink in the morning.
You can lead a horse to water but...........how?
No news is..................................impossible.
A miss is as good as a......................Mr.
Love all, trust.............................me.
The pen is mightier than the................pigs.
An idle mind is.............................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's.................pollution.
Happy the bride who.........................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is............................not much.
Don't put off till tomorrow what............you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and..........you have to
blow your nose.
There are none so blind as..................Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not.............smacked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed...............get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you......see in the picture on
the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind............get out of the way.
And the favourite:
Better late than............................pregnant!
Edited By - shanika - 12 May 2006 03:03:07 GMT |
LuLa
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12 May 2006 09:14:04 GMT Report for Abuse
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TENJEWBERRYMUDS
To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service (RS): 'Morrin.; Roon sirbees.'
Guest (G): 'Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.'
RS: 'Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin!Jewish to oddor sunteen??'
G: 'Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs.'
RS: 'Ow July den?'
G: 'What??'
RS: 'Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?'
G : 'Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.'
RS: 'Ow July dee baykem?Crease?'
G: 'Crisp will be fine.'
RS : 'Hokay.An Sahn toes?'
G: 'What?'
RS:'An toes.July Sahn toes?'
G: 'I don't think so.'
RS: 'No? Judo wan sahn toes??'
G: 'I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.'
RS: 'Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes?Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?'
G: 'English muffin!! I've got it!You were saying 'Toast.'Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.'
RS: 'We bodder?'
G: 'No...just put the bodder on the side.'
RS: 'Wad! ?'
G: 'I mean butter...just put it on the side.'
RS: 'Copy?'
G: 'Excuse me?'
RS: 'Copy...tea...meel?'
G: 'Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all.'
RS: 'One Minnie.Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??'
G: 'Whatever you say.'
RS: 'Tenjewberrymuds.'
G : 'You're very welcome.' |
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