Thomians dilute Royal glory
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Joined: May 2005
| 11 May 2006 04:47:49 GMT Report for Abuse
|TCK no mate I did not leave you out. It was a reply to your post. Anyway here is one for you:
If you love some
Dont let her go
It could be a big mistake
Enjoy while it lasts
And oh TCK we avoid politics but I think political jokes could be ok. Mimsie might have spent a lot of time on that.
Without politicians we will not have fun. Most of our humour is centred around those jokers!
Dr. Akai, yes TCK was right. I never dated, thats because I wanted to be a nalla podian to my parents!
Joined: Jun 2005
| 11 May 2006 05:16:49 GMT Report for Abuse
I went through some of the posts on last few pages. They are absolutely brilliant. You all deserve some appreciation.
Joined: Jul 2005
| 11 May 2006 05:24:36 GMT Report for Abuse
One morning a husband took a pair of underwear out of the drawer. 'What the ? ? ?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'
She shot back: 'It's not talcum powder. It's 'Miracle Grow'.'
Guys i'm going to check my underwear....Fairplay.
I really miss the CTB.
Joined: Apr 2006
| 11 May 2006 05:35:51 GMT Report for Abuse
|I think Bonggo is right-the biggest jokers in SL are our politicians so why not a bit of humour at their expense??
On the same note, I am posting the following, which a like minded friend sent-not to laugh at other people's English-afterall English is not our mother-tongue!! but just a bit of humour at the expense of our politicos................ :-) :-)
This is a true transcript of an essay
written by a M.P. at the Parliamentarians
English Exam (PEE). As many
Parliamentarians failed it, PEE is not
done in Parliament anymore.
The Sri Lanka Elefant
There is a three Sri Lanka elefants. One
is a home elefant. Two is a val elefant.
Three is a UNP party animal.
The elefant has 4 leggs. Elefant has long
thrunk hanging between. 2 white iworry
tasks some have on both side of hanging
thrunk. These iworry is very moneyful.
Some bad men rape the val elefant to get
iworry and sell for money.
Elefants like to eat banananas, bunns,
gnanakathas, like that. It like to drink
milk and toddy two. Like you and other
people elefants send extra food out to
the world from the behind of the
backside, at the back.
Elefants have tails. This is to move the
fly. Some time elefant is moving tail
this way that way but fly is not going
Elefant never forgets. One storey I tell
you, one day one man pulling elefants
tail hard and run away. You know no, how
elefant. 50 years after pulling tail, man
has died. When the dead man is going to
the kanatta our elefant is going near the
mini box and lifting his tail??.elefant very
remember what man did know.
Elefants are vary istrong. It can puss
trees. It pusses and pusses and the tree
downfalls. Elefant is conthrolled by
manout man. Manout man is using tall
hooker to pull Elefant‚??s ear and he
sometimes pulls Elefant‚??s leg also. But
Manout man love Elefant.
Zoo elefant can dunce. If you give money zoo
elefant will take you for a ride down
Elefant is large gift to people of
SriLanka. We must look after our elefant,
then we can use elefant to do things on
the fields, in the jungle, in the zoo ‚?'
also then we can have lots of baby
elefants. Then we can ex-fort elefants to
other cunttrees and be povertyless.
Joined: Apr 2006
| 11 May 2006 05:36:47 GMT Report for Abuse
|So nice to see this tread. Here's one from me to keep this tread alive.
There once was a very good old barber in New York. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut.
After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: 'I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'
The Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a
thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber after the cut. But the barber replies: 'I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'
The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.
A Sri Lankan software engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: 'I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'
The Sri Lankan software engineer is happy and leaves.
The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there...
Come on, think like a Sri Lankan....
..... a dozen Sri Lankans waiting for a free haircut!
Joined: Jul 2005
| 11 May 2006 05:41:43 GMT Report for Abuse
|One morning, Mrs. Udurawana caught her husband searching high and low all around his living room.
Mrs. Udurawana:'What are you searching for?'
Mr. Udurawana: 'Hidden camaras!'
Mrs. Udurawana: 'And what makes you think that there are hidden camaras here?'
Mr. Udurawana: 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, 'You are watching Rupavahini channel. How does he know that?'
Joined: Apr 2006
| 11 May 2006 06:00:37 GMT Report for Abuse
|The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Joined: Nov 2005
| 11 May 2006 06:04:29 GMT Report for Abuse
Believe me, I fell in love when I was 16 and had an affair for 11 Years and now married to the same with 3 cute kids, the first one is 16....Guess my age... and still going good. Up until 16 I had many and it was all 'sellam' love.
One other thing, believe me I was a virgin till my marriage. Those who think I am MsLanka, well I am MrLanka.
Marriages are made in heaven they say,
Already I've got it, there is no 'Ithing-Eita-Passey'.
As for Prince, don't worry this thread will never go down; I'll prop-up the moment slides.
keep the humor and stop political rumor (at least on this thread)
Joined: May 2005
| 11 May 2006 06:06:02 GMT Report for Abuse
|LOVE: The greatest love of all
When you feel you are alone in a crowd..... When you feel no one can understand you.... When your love is rejected by others.... & when you hate your life.... Just close your eyes & see her face who loves you more than anyone else..... Who cares for you in loneliness & dies for you when you cry....... she is no one but your sweet loving MOM.... Love her more than anyone else in this world.... Because only she was, is and will be there for you all the time?.
Eulogised by the immortal voice (sada nomiyena handa) of H.R. Jothipala:
?Mey jeevanaye, mulu sangsarey //
Udarai, udarai, udarai aadarey
Mey jeevanaye ?.
Suwanda haadu duni sathapala
Yahanwey ma howa ?
Pinsara eyageyyy thuruley
Senasey rajun pawa ?
Ei daruwekugey, pana weni uththama
Me jeevanaye ??
Forgive me MOM if I have ever hurt your feelings ?
Joined: Nov 2005
| 11 May 2006 06:14:45 GMT Report for Abuse
|Hey Bongo....appreciated your love for your mum; I had to wait 11 years to get married just to seek her bless my marriage while my wife's family was all over me when I visit my Girl.....and most of the time her Dad tells me....'son, please don't elope, ok'..I have brought my girls in the correct way and bla bla bla bla until one day I told him....give me a million and I shall elope else I'll stick to her until I get my own million. Chak Chuk no 'saththam' for at least 2 years until i married. The poor guy passed away just 2 months after.